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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Why (Some) Men Touch Themselves In Public

No, I’m serious, why?? Is it an inherent gender thing, or are guys taught how to do this in special classes when they enter puberty? Could it be sheer machismo, (I got it, so I touch it.), or a severe insecurity, (Shit! Why has it stopped moving?), or just an inexhaustable fascination with oneself, (oooh, I wonder if it has changed shape in the last 10 minutes)?

Or maybe it’s just a complete absence of consideration? Maybe it doesn’t even occur to a guy that it might disgust other people, especially if they are not male, to be watching him scratch his genitals in oblivious bliss. Maybe he assumes that since it would be the high point of his year to see an unfamiliar woman fondling herself, she would naturally feel the same for him.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to be offensive here. I’m not even generalising. See, I added the ‘some’ in the title just to be politically correct, (though we all know better, don’t we?) I just need to find the answer to a few questions. And just so this doesn’t turn into a girly rant, I interviewed 6 hapless males to get their POV. The mentioned six have only one thing in common- they are my friends, (and hence somewhat weird) but apart from that, the sample range is pretty spread out.

The guys, strangely, were not remotely embarrassed, but talked willingly and eagerly. Only one of the six admitted to be a conscious ball-player, and the rest could not swear to what they did unconsciously. All six knew at least one person who persistently scratched himself, and two knew more than five. But this is where the similarity ends. When faced with the question of why people who touch, touch, each had a different theory.

Happy, who refused to accept that he touches himself even in private, thinks it is an Indian thing, the same inconsideration that makes people burp or fart in restuarants, or talk loudly about disgusting health problems to complete strangers. But he cannot explain why it should be restricted to males.

Nick says it is because men do not care and do not think it is cool to care. They think- ‘Whoa, I’m not touching you, I’m touching me; so whats your problem?’ He further feels that men should be left alone to touch themselves and women should get used to the idea that it’s just something men do, and not a personal affront.

Buno feels the tropical climate is to blame. Men, he says, sweat more than women, and therefore their itch problem would be more acute, especially in summers. He suspects that most scratchers suffer from some form of skin disease, and should be treated with pity and understanding rather than disgust.

Nandu suggests that the problem is more deep-rooted. He feels it stems from male lonelyness and emotional void. Men, he says, need to be touched, need to be loved and fondled. They touch themselves much as a lonely dog tries to throw and fetch all on its own. It’s a means to obliviate the sadness.

Sash (yes, of the porn CD infamy), says that many of his friends touch themselves in buses and trains to attract the attention of commuting girls. They enjoy being glared at in digust, it’s better than being ignored. Some guys even hope that the girls might just get turned on by the free show.

Sid feels that unlike girls whose hands are slapped away from their private parts from infancy itself, boys are never really taught not to touch. They grow up watching their fathers, uncles and brothers doing it, and they don’t even realize when they’ve imbibed the habit. They don’t mean to offend anybody; they just don’t realize it’s nasty.

The Monster Boss confesses that he touches himself because he has a very swollen, very crusty, very painful, very throbbing case of herpes down there and has also recently aquired a hyper-itchy fungal infection as well as pubic lice, and laments that the problem is getting worse instead of better.
(ok, no, that’s just wishful thinking. He wasn’t interviewed. I haven’t found out why he touches himself.)

Men, I didn’t want to judge you or show you down or rant against you. I merely wanted to understand a very bizzare habit that has never failed to disgust me or any other girl I know. Doing this survey opened my eyes and made me a more accepting person. I will never again want to set flesh eating scarabs upon a pair of testicles being scratched before my eyes. I realize it is a need you have, just as we girls need to compulsively eat chocolate. (No Aniket, I’m not calling you a girl).

But you might want to think about why certain parts of the human body are labled ‘private’ and why some places in your city are ‘public’ and how much nicer the world would be for the women you love, respect, and care for, if the twaine ne’er met.

If you have any insights you want to share, please feel free to use the comment page.

Amritorupa Kanjilal also writes at Rivers I Have Known: Books, Reviews, and More. Please visit her there! 

97 paper boats came floating back to me:

Little Girl Lost said...

This is for all those people who have been complaining that Rivers I Have Known is fast turning into a poetry blog, and have been clamouring for one of those good old LGL style rant-posts..
i hope you are satisfied :)

Chronicwriter said...

haha... its raining fire...

sachin tendulkar does it while batting...

chronicwriter does it while blogging

chriz

Arv said...

I actually dont know wat to say :P

have a nice day mate... cheers...

Little Girl Lost said...

Chriz- you shit while you blog, you play with yourself while you blog... man, i wouldn't want to be your keyboard for anything...

Little Girl Lost said...

Arv- well, thanks for saying something :)

The abstract scientist said...

Its definitely not a trait defined by Indians, even african kids and rap musicians do it. Its a syndrome, cant really remember the name though. Celine Dion thinks she may lose her voice one fine morning when she wakes up from sleep, the Indian guys feels that their source of pride shall disappear one fine moment. Thats why they keep touching to feel if its still lying there, safe and sound.

Aniket said...

No I don't take my chocolate eating as offensive. It is a scientifically proven fact that eating chocolate and screaming on top of your lungs keeps you calm. And I do both in abundance.

Drinking beer kills the slowest brain cells. This in turn initiates a survival of the fittest competition among other brain cells and they work better to survive. Hence I drink much beer too. Pathetic slow brain cells deserve to die. :)

And coming to the scratchy business. I guess men don't use hair removal, etc as often as you girls do and that also adds to the itchy business. Though almost all my friends are non scratchers at least not in public. We've seen plenty of those, but I guess the craving is easily avoidable if you keep yourself clean.

That said, guys would be guys and girls would be girls. There are many questions you cant find an answer to and you have to accept them as facts.

No matter how beautiful a girl man has, he'll take those occasional 5 min trips to bathroom with his playboy magazine.

No matter if a girl has to carry everything in her hands or in an exceptionally large handbag... she'll wear extra tight jeans in which she cannot even insert a cell phone.

Guys avoid talking while in restroom. While Girls can spend hours in restroom gigling to each other.

Girls always cuddle each other while crossing road. Trust me it doesn't help the drivers.

Girls have an affection to pillows, they'll have them all around the place. You probably don't even in need one in 10 of them.

I've seen many hairy chicks sporting skirts and low waists. Trust me... we don't want to see that either.

So all in all... jerks are found in every gender and species. So you can't generalize this discussion.

Little Girl Lost said...

Abstract Scientist- so you are siding with the insecurity theory?
and if african kids do it, its still a tropical problem, no?

and rap artistes would touch anything. thats just how they are...

Little Girl Lost said...

aniket- Whoa!
1. i think its cool that you like chocolates. its something else we have in common :)
2. i know a lot of guys who must be walking around with no brain cells at all if your beer theory is true.

3. thank you for the new perspective. none of the interviewees had thought of hair as a factor.

4. accepted, guys and girls are so different its like they are a whole different species. all the more reason to explore the differences.

5. thank you for the points of difference. very enlightening.

6. my effort in this whole exercise was to not judge and not generalise. besides, it would be silly to generalise. the points you gave describe girls very fittingly, but strangely, i don't conform to a single one :)

chirpy-paaro said...

@Aniket:
1. Gals carry handbags to help their better alfs. They would always hand over their mobiles, wallet, caps to gal...

2.I daily see 2-3 guys talking on cellphones and in middle of it would even go and visit the loo...even if for the shitty buisness!!

3. Guys hold each other hands while driving bikes to attract gals.. Let me tell you most gals think it is the most uncool thing to do...

All in all yeah everyone has something or the other...but this scratchy business is disgusting!!! :(((

Aniket said...

@ Priyanka:

1. A sensible guy would never ever hand over his cell to the girl. Probably Andy does it with you because he is a sudhra hua banda. :-)

2. And still girls ask us whay didn't you pick up my call? See we try our best to attend to them. lolz

3. Oh with how lame guys have you hung out with. Its the girls sitting behind who hold hands with the other gal sitting behind on a double date. Guys never "hold hands" of other guys...


And before we carry this discussion further just count the number of pillows in your home first. I've been there plenty of times so no use lying. :-) :-)

DPhatsez said...

As a guy, allow me to profess my frank opinion on this post:

LOL!

Man! this reminds me of the 'surveys' we used to conduct in hostel when the power went out.

'Which hand do you 'wash' with?'

'Which hand do you 'play with yourself' with?

As for your question, I have NO clue whatsoever :)
Kudos to your effort to be politically correct!
\m/ Cheers mate!

chirpy-paaro said...

@Aniket: I am sorry but before marriage Andy used to have almost 4-5 pillows on his bed... I hate having more than 2 pillows... :)

So I guess its not gender based but its just fun thing!!!

ki said...

Oh my god! I see this SO much on the bus to college, it's not even funny. The guys 'accidentally' fall on girls in between the 'touching'. :|

THIS is Delhi.

Hopeless Romantic said...

This is one of the most genuine humorous post i have read in a long time. I totally agree with this manly fascination, though its incorrect to generalize it over the whole male species. As someone pointed out, its the non-use of hair removal creams, which leads men to scratch more. I generally shave down there once a month, so i am like more gentle when it comes to scratching my balls specially in public. But, sweat is definitely one of the reasons doing it unintentionally in the public. Other Plausible reasons i can think off is a Shrinking tight Jeans, ill-fitted underwear, or the natural tendency to rub it off every now and then. But, yes sometimes we do it deliberately in discs and pubs to attract opposite sex and give the subtle hints that we are interested in action between the sheets, though not necessarily at the same moment. Nevertheless, at times i also scratch my balls in public, though i have now been doing smartly so that no one catches me from the corner of an eye and which causes subtle embarrasment.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

Thumps Up, Girl! Your just said it out loud what was in our minds...Some revelation!
If its an Indian male thing, I am sure many of the women have even experienced this. Men trying 2 rub their private parts against women in crowded public transports.Its disgusting and demeaning. :((

Creation said...

ROFL


Like I told you... the post did get some pretty interesting reactions.

But, just to even it out... do one on girls too...

We too have some pretty strange habits.. not as disgusting as the men though.. but definitely weird!!


@ KI

I guess this would be true for almost everywhere but yes.. it is definitely a VERY commonplace scenario in Delhi.

Smita said...

:D

A bold post girl!!!!

jason evans said...

No insights to add.

Here in the uptight U.S., that would earn you some scathing/disgusted looks. I certainly wouldn't do it. (The scratching, that is.)

Shravan said...

lolz chronicwriter and no comments :)



Now In Obnoxious Mind

Shubhajit said...

You do have a darn wacky sense of humour - indeed with this article you've managed to literally grab people (not just guys) by their balls. Whoever could think of writing a piece on a ludicrous yet hilarious subject as that?

By the way, when one speaks about "touching oneself" (in public or otherwise), it more often than not refers to 'caressing', though to an overtly naive observer (read: peeping tom), it might seem to be a variation of scratching (no offence meant) ;)

Jokes aside, I don't agree with your post. I have never "touched" myself in public, and neither do I know any guy who does that. Agreed, one does get to see some (read: negligibly few) men doing that. But then, as they say, exception proves the rule. Its like asking: Why (some) women flagrantly cozy up to their (male) bosses and then behave as if they never seek 'favours'? (Again, no offence meant). You might say you've never done that to climb the corporate ladder. My response to that would be - exactly, that's my point.

On a lighter note, what made you think of those probable reasons for scratching (machismo, insecurity, narcissism) in the 1st para of your post? Sigmund Freud, might just be turning in his grave right now.

This post of yours might be offensive to many(if a guy had written a similar post about women, I'm sure you would've have instantly labeled him an MCP - that favourite abbreviation of a feminist), but there's also no denying the fact that its damn hilarious.

workhard said...

Hey LGL... man.. that was just so funny.. and im glad u put it up because i find that really disturbing and sick...

NISHANT NISCHAL said...

LGL.....
pass this suggestion of mine to all the proud NUT SCRATCHERS... "Buy a couple of 'Jockey' and don't play cricket anymore." HA HA HA...

Stupidosaur said...

I wondered too. Since ppl do it and I don't.

But then I didn't find it worth wondering about :P

Atanu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
atanu nath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
atanu nath said...

... we human beings are so inconsistent... sometimes we talk about things like... we are moving away from wild nature... and on the other hand... we talk about civilization....it reminds me of the line...
"the freedom of wild and comfort of civilization can never co-exist"
... then why we analyse things... in favour of Wild nature... or favouring civilization... we go on creating... "the private" and "the public"...
Itching in public or private... it all depends on the motive.. that the active person posses.. and Little girl.. you have exhausted all the possible classification.
you said,
"Doing this survey opened my eyes and made me a more accepting person"...
does that mean...we need to run a survey for each of our "curiosities" and even if we do... will that be acceptable... I mean to say...statistical sample should have to be large enough!!... I believe we should posses accepting mentality towards certain things even if we don't have any survey results in our hands... because thats not possible always... I don't have many friends to run my survey...!!!
But still.. though... sample is small...as I've told already... all the sides are touched...nice work.

Quirky Mon said...

I am so glad you brought this up. Half the time I'm embarrassed while using public transport because I fumble to find the best possible way to ignore, without looking too obvious, the men who has a undue fascination for fondling their crotch in public! Sometimes if you are horribly unlucky you might hear an elastic snap back loudly to the skin. EEEEEEeeew! gross!

Satans Darling™ said...

Haha! Firstly I loved this post! The most humorous post I have read ina long long time!

And yes, it's so disgusting and "ewwwieee" to see men scratching and touching themselves in public. I'm gonna get another insight for you now. Let me do some asking around too :P

On the other hand, I have also seen MANY women touching their genitals unknowingly... But not in absolute public. Still, in small communities like get togethers and all. Oh no, it's so embarrassing!

laddu said...

wov....yaar seems u have done research on dis..n dont say anythig abt chocs. its not a girly thing..we guys also eat it a lot..m so much obsessed abt it dat i have used it in d url of my blog..:P:P

coffeeismypoison said...

After a long, sleepless night filled with madness and irritation...I arrived to ur H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S post...
i laughed so hard...my head hurts and now so does my stomach, but its totally worth it...
now from what i know, all guys suffer from the misconception that their "packages" are "above average" [size wise] and need constant re-adjustment. Ahem. I don't believe that they do. But why disillusion them eh? Ignorance is bliss and all that jazz :o)
Thanks a TON for writing this. Wat a way to end my workday!!

Pallav said...

One of the best post i come across...
hehehehe...
lols...
wud like to tell uu my boss always does while speaking to us or to anybody..
me n my Colleague(Female, we alway discuss...

hahaha....

good one... n By God Chronic writer Chiz.. for Christ sake...
hehehe....

wonderful...

Pallav

Priyanka Khot said...

Too good is all I can say while hoping that my co-workers and BOSS do not plan to send me away to mental asylum for laughing, making disgusting faces and even shutting my eyes (as I get mental pictures of the MEN doing their scratching business). awesome fun read... looking forward to more such pieces where you put the male species to shame (or at least make you readers laugh while making the attempt).

Pradip Biswas said...

This is a problem of Hormone secretion particularly with testerone and natural. It happens spontaneously and beyond the control of mucular control cells. it may be optimised by a pre-programme of Brain by telling continuosly that doing this in public is offensive.

deepazartz said...

Some heated discussion going on here:)
I can see fumes & fury...but I am lost...like your pro name...donno what to say..
Enjoy your comments:)

Little Girl Lost said...

Deepa- yes, i always do manage to stir up a hornet's nest, don't i?

Little Girl Lost said...

Pradip- That is by far the most informative take anyone has put on this... i wish i had interviewed you.

Little Girl Lost said...

Priyanka K.- i would like to take on the men too, only i'm so afraid to lose my male readers :)

Little Girl Lost said...

pallav- best post? really? wow! i 'm really discovering my strengths.

maybe your boss has herpes too?

Little Girl Lost said...

Sweta, anything to make you smile buddy :)

Little Girl Lost said...

laddu- chocolate is good. chocolate is beatuful. my next topic is 'men who love chocolates'

Little Girl Lost said...

Satan's Darling- i've antagonized so many men by this post that i have a feeling someone is going to come up with 'why women don't touch themselves in public' very soon.

Little Girl Lost said...

quirky mon- i embrace you, fellow sufferer.

Little Girl Lost said...

atanu- thank you, i love how deeply you go into my work.

Little Girl Lost said...

Stupidosaurus- yes, well, i probably have more free time than you.

Little Girl Lost said...

nishant- been a long time. good to see you dude.

Little Girl Lost said...

saara- yaay! another sufferer.

Little Girl Lost said...

shubhajit- oooh, i seemed to have touched something sensitive here :)

Catvibe said...

Only because you are so insistent, I am here. You little minx you. :-) I've been awol from blogging because my thumb and forefinger have gone numb from computer use, AND I'm trying to put in a garden all by myself (sniff). BUT, I'm glad you FORCED me to come here, because this is HILARIOUS! And furthermore, you should know, it's an Indian thing for sure. Men in the USA are pretty good about not doing that in public. Not to say it hasn't happened (and I've seen some pretty gross things), just that those who do it here are considered perverted, and so there it is a BIG social faux pas to do it. The men I've seen doing it, were indeed perverts and should have been arrested. Oh, they didn't bother to keep it 'in' when they were touching and full on showing, leaving me heaving in nauseous shock.

Little Girl Lost said...

cat, how much of a garden can you get together with three fingers and no thumb?
and i'm not sorry i dragged you here. i'll do it as many time as necessary.
ok, but i wont post anything till your thumb gets better...

Little Girl Lost said...

Amit, thank you, i really REALLY needed to know your scratching habits.

Little Girl Lost said...

Kriti- it was your suggestion that made me do the survey so seriously...

Little Girl Lost said...

TFL- THAT,i promise you will be subject for a future post- "how i killed a shoulder-rubber"

Mama - Mia said...

hahahaha!

came over from crafty's blog! and this post had me in splits!

leme look for the rest of the rants! :D

cheers!

abha

Little Girl Lost said...

abha- welcome ! hope you enjoy your stay :)

Satans Darling™ said...

Hahaha! Yeah I would not be surprized if guys did that! And I asked some people around too and the general response I got was of itchiness and sweat! Yeah and also the hair!

craftyshines said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! hahahahahah!!! this i gotta forward to some guy friends of mine :D :D


now about ppl complainin that this is turnin into a poetry blog...pay no heed LGL...its ur poetry that got me hooked here!!! :D

Anurag said...

hmmm......

Imp's Mom said...

ROTFL.... disgusting habit.. and i think they are totally clueless abt it being a disgusting habit.

I wonder what the Indian men who scratch themselves in public, will do once they are in a diff country?

great blog u got here btw!

Vidooshak said...

hahaha

fabulous. but pointless. we scratchy because it itchy. simple.

keep the rants coming...

Anik. said...

BESH KORI...CHULKAI...

Nikki said...

Lolz. I totally enjoyed reading this. Its a men thing. And I agree with Chirpy-Paaro!

alpez said...

dude....i luv this kinda ranting stuff...i almost fell off laffing...i have to meet dis Sash guy! really good work LGL...im becoming a bigger fan everyday...

Bedazzled said...

OMG..this was hilarious ! ..i've seen way to many men scratching their groin in public that i was nodding all the way !!!..Men !! ;-)

Gagan said...

LOLzz :D

Well 'Why (Some)Men Touch Themselves In Public'???
Ani already mentioned about the hairy thing :)
Tell you what, 'Men do it at every given opportunity' :P
Hard luck, Women would never experience this thing(read bliss) :D

Hilarious post nevertheless.

PS: *scratch*... *scratch*...:P

Quaint Murmur said...

Finally, somebody asks the question that's been playing in my head for years. WHAT IS IT with these men, really. I've never understood, some part of me doesn't even WANT to understand, and the rest of me never will.
It's revolting to be witness to some randomer touching himself, and it makes my blood boil. We have privates too, but do you see us standing around and feeling ourselves up? Honestly, it's disgusting.
And if I have to go into a rant, it might turn out to be a post-size comment. So I will just shake my head in disgust, revulsion and more disgust, and go away.

lafemmereva said...

maybe they have ants in their pants!! :D

sawan said...

hehe lol, wow wut a theme :) i shud go with Buno here! unless or untill we design some eco friendly, sweat absorbing, cool undies which wud be affordable to the midle clas/ lower middle class, you grls wud be destined to watch the hands in action :P

want more education in this? read on :

http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/symptoms/testicle_itch/causes.htm
:)

sawan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harshita said...

I am just laughing at the irony of the post and I have completely fallen in love with ur writing...

I always thought I'll confront men around me abt this... never got the courage to do tht... ;) told myself must be a fungal infection...

Now I knw so many reasons for the same, all thanks to you. :D

Pallav said...

yo....man....
hehehe....
BTW i have new post..
u check ...
ciyaaa....

hv fun
cheers :)

Pallav said...

yo....man....
hehehe....
BTW i have new post..
u check ...
ciyaaa....

hv fun
cheers :)

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

What do i say on this....

all teh characters giving different explanation .....that was seriolsy good...

it gives reader a clear idea on how you caried the post with different facts...

So amritorupa..i end it here...

I hope you haven't forget a favor you did to me once by commenting on a post of mine..

I ahve been waiting for it..

One more thing, i dont see you around.. keep visiting yaar..

your comments make me happy :P

Kabbo said...

*eyes wide open*.. kudos for the great observation...and a wonderful theme to write on :P...

*sighs* it so very true...

*a bit of silence* aar kichchu bolar nei.... :( but one thing..this gross habit doesn't belongs to everyone.."some" people do get equally irritated..and they do feel like...."WTF" when they see such things....and wonder..."what makes them do it???"
*sighs again*

anyways...tumi ekta link debe bolechile...do give it to me...i'm dying to read some nu-age kobitas...

Dream'R said...

MY MY MY....thats a pretty interestin post you have there...hmmm...but to be honest, i dont think i know a lot of people who fall into your said category...but yeah i guess it happens a bit..

and yeah i can see y it seems gross but you know there's a perfectly simple solution to this problem..you could just stop lookin at a dude's crotch!!...;-)

but hey thanx for the laugh..;-)

luv
amith

buno mainak said...

whoa whoa monster boss
that sob mf wm is d most famous in lgl's blog

buno mainak said...

mairi tora ki ektu sustho bhabe chulkotei dibi na oder?

joaquin carvel said...

or - maybe (some) women are too easily disgusted.

just kidding. this was a huge lift of comic relief in my day.

(hens peck, men scratch. civility is noble, but nature always wins.)

ki said...

Creation: I don't know any other city well enough to say anything anyway!

rahul said...

ROFLMAO..well I would go with Buno on this, and yes this is not a general rule..there are lots of exceptions :p

one reason that could be is mostly we (excluding me)guys don't give a fuck(offended :))) what the other person is thinking, personal etiquette is not something we are born with ,this I think is handed to us by the females.

I guess the same question Eve would have asked to Adam :P!!

Al Walling said...

lol...

err..

okay...

:P

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

It loaded easily madam...

SSQuo said...

It's a guy thing?????

Balls!!!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

I love the writing on your 'wall' (cool layout). This is one problem which has had me thinking, too: how can the same act be so blissful to the doer and so gross to the (unfortunate) watcher? Neighbour's envy, owner's pride? Whatever, as you said, 'public' and 'private' are better off not meeting, ever!

clueless said...

ok that's it! i'm following! your blog is just too good to resist!! :D

i read all the four posts i'd missed... and love em all!

cheers LGL!!

Pradiptaa said...

A bold post I dare say.
Missed a few during my exam going on. Now, quite free.

To the post topic, knowingly/ un-knowingly, intentionally/ un-intentionally, it's not a good sight indeed. But what to say? Many people do their nose cleaning in public, some of them enjoy the taste of the goo also, which also is one of the most irritating encounters we come accross. But nothing can be done, people will laugh about it & will resume to their activities all the same. So, the survey was cool. It was interesting to see that guys are quite bold to have opinions.

bluesugarpoet said...

Freaking hilarious, lgl!

And so, a haiku for you:

too sweaty, crusty,
or what? hand always in pants?
give it a rest, man!

MTV webmaster said...

Most guys don't do this all the time, they may occasionly do it because they have an itch or need to re adjust themselves. gals don't have anything dangling between der legs all the time so de wouldn't understand:P.

SGD said...

Urgghhh...A Gross vision they make of themselves!!!
Another reason why Men are from Mars & we are from Venus!!

Dave King said...

I think it's simply because they want to enjoy the moment!

thesmokerings said...

Enlightening survey and the comments just make it a better learning experience... And, oh, I loved the way the post ended...

Sumit said...

all i can say, its a global thing...

I am Alive said...

I find your post hilarious...
I bet, u r a good observer kid...
I thoroghly enjoyed reading this one... & yeah... Completely agrer with u...
Keep up the good work gal...
Good blog...

Ketan said...

Have you thought about acupressure? TC.

Ruchika said...

LOL
Thankyou for checking out my blog.
I'd have loved to give you a more personal reply. An email id would help facilitate it.

I loved every bit of this rant. Its so typical. And the tone of the ranting is just apt.

I loved reading it immensely.

(Sprinklesofchatter)

Keith said...

I have a room-mate who is from Uganda and he doesn't feel he has to touch himself in public. He says it's "An American black man habit". He also thinks the practice is "gross". Richard Pryor posed the question (in his "white" voice). "Why you guys hold your things?" the answer was, (in a deep male voice) "Because you done took everything else."

MesrineC said...

(For brevity, the whole genital 'package' will be referred to as 'it' throughout this comment.)

It is the most sensitive part of the male body, and it's hanging defenseless out in the world. It is highly reactive to heat and cold (which is why it's on the outside in the first place), so it is constantly changing size, shape, and orientation as the temperature varies. And if you look at a naked male standing, then superimpose pants, you see that that pants are not designed to give room for everything... the inseam usually hikes up the testes, and one must decide (or just tolerate) which pant-leg the penis will reside in (see "how do you dress, sir?" and "hanging to the left".) Sitting down, the situation is worse: there is nowhere for it to go, so it gets sort of scrunched up, pushed into weird configurations, many of which can be exceedingly painful.

With all of this going on, as well as friction from clothing on the sensitive glans, which - for most men in the US - had its protective covering cut off without anesthetics, it is basically impossible to go any appreciable length of time before 'adjusting' things to keep them in the safe zone. This is just the way male bodies work, and if we're going to be insisting that women shouldn't have to feel ashamed or our bodies, we need to grow up and extend the same courtesy to men.

We're all in this together. Let's feel good about ourselves for the good things we do and are, rather than invoke some delusional "I am woman hear me roar" pseudo-value that is not representative of our higher goals while we try to elevate ourselves by taking potshots at other genders/races/nationalities/etc.