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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Limericks, A Dime A Dozen

A long time ago, I had challenged Aniket to write a limerick. He took up the challenge, did a research on limericks, came up with not one but five(of which one he wrote for me), and threw the challenge back in my face.
I never thought I'd get around to doing them, but here they are finally... Ten of these are for nine very good friends of mine, one is for a mortal enemy, and one I just threw in for luck. Let me know if they are any good...

Anik sighs to himself as he thinks
I used to be able to drink
My evening would start
With not less than a quart
How did my appetite shrink??
**********************************************
Bokom’s a doctor but he is also a poet.
Though he’s so goofy you’d just never know it.
Of all medicine put to test
Laughter is the best.
So for medical science’s sake, don’t outgrow it.
***********************************************
“Let’s see you steal my friends”, he dared.
So in twos and in threes they were snared
And when I achieved this feat
Aniket had to admit
Friends are much more fun when they’re shared.
********************************************
The crap that they wrote was plain wicked
And they stayed anon, so it just wasn’t cricket.
But she showed them a finger,
And had they dared to linger
Jennifer would SO tell them where to stick it!
(This is re: Jennifer's recent trial with blog-stalkers. I hope this and the next one make you smile in mummified times, girl )
*********************************************
It's nice when she's away and you miss'er
'Cause a Mom-in-law's visit's like a blizzard.
Like she's sudden and she's cold
& She blasts through the household
And its all very unsettling for the lizards
(The above limerick will make sense to you only if your household comprises of both Mothers-in-law and lizards)
*********************************************
Anurag was surrounded by women.
The sole male in a feminine domain.
Amidst the cackling noise
In a guttaral voice,
He growled, ”But MY manhood is proven.”
*********************************************
I can't find a lable that will fit'er
She’s either sweet or she’s very very bitter
It depends on her mood
When Kriti’s good, she’s good,
But when she’s bad she’s actually better!
*********************************************
Sash bought a CD without checking its name
It turned out to be porn & no video game
Sash just couldn't desist,
He made love to his fist,
And sighed, "Someday I know I'll do this with a dame.
*********************************************
Deepa was sketching an angelic child
Which suddenly looked up at her and smiled.
Deepa jumped out of her skin!
The kid said with a grin,
"Why don't you make me a tad more wild?"
*********************************************
A young punjaban wanted Hasi for her lover
She was pretty and funny and very clever
But Hasi could not decide
If he liked her. Besides,
Where's the thrill of the chase if you can just have'er?
*********************************************
LGL's boss was obsessed with folders.
If she misfiled one li'l thing he'd scold her.
So she tricked him for a bet
Into the folder cabinet,
And left him locked there till he mouldered.
(Heeah! :D Sweet fantasy)
*********************************************
(And finally, something for all my Bong friends. I wrote this just before my exams.)
Moshla-maakha maach-gulo ke bhajte fele jei pan-e
Juddho korte jacchi mora, gorbe fole ei gyan-e
Bhoyonkor shobde moron
Beer—dorpe kore boron
Maach-er moto shohid hobo, emon ta to nei plan-e.
*********************************************

Amritorupa Kanjilal also writes at Rivers I Have Known: Books, Reviews, and More. Please visit her there! 

71 paper boats came floating back to me:

Al Walling said...

errr..

i dont really fancy limericks.

^_^

no offence, though.

ure awesome. [damage control, lol]

ShantanuDas said...
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ShantanuDas said...
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ShantanuDas said...
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Amit said...

nices one's though i myself not a great fan of limericks...bt a job well done...pat on the back :)

Cheers!
Amit

Anonymous said...

hahaha...

poor sash

ShantanuDas said...
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Peck said...

"made love to his fist" - hahahaha! LOL!

gotta say little girl, i loved this post!
some things reminded me of my best friends... and some things made me roll with laughter! very clever...

i'll keep coming back..
cheers!
=)

Unknown said...

hey gal,

Its good, no doubt about it.

Keep observing and keep writing.

bless you.

cheers

ShantanuDas said...

eeeeeeeeeeeee rey baba
dont make me hungry now!! !! Moshla Macch.. slurrp slurrp..

Ami Sri Sri Bhajahari manna!!!! reminded me of this song..

btw my HAIKU for you here publicly:-
[I wanted to make a limerick on you.. but do not want to compete with YOU!!]

OLD Monk and my Idea.- By Shantanu Das
Old Monk & Me
Sitting side by side.
Liquid in throat.
Stars in the sky
Drowning in her eyes..

Amal Bose said...

loved it.. .
especially that of Sash. admire ur nerve ;)

Aniket Thakkar said...

Aherm Aherm...

So you finally came through with the limericks. About time. :-)

I must say I loved Jennifer and Deep's the most. And every single one was superb, except I cannot possibly comment on the bong one, which I'll have my roomie to decipher for me.

For all I know in Bengali is 'Kiholo? Bishon gondogol-holo.'
'kero Machisch? Kichu Na!'
And a couple of songs..
'Jodi tor dak sune kyo naa ache tomi ekla cholo re..'
and 'brishti ache taput tuput... tapuuur tupuuur' lolzz :-)

Great post... you have outdone yourself here.

Your Mortal enemy.

Victory Shall Be Mine!

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

Al and amit and all other limerick haters, i'm sorry i made you go through that torture. i'll stay up tonight thinking of what i did.

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

shantanu, thank you for the individual analysis. :)

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

Chriz, amal, and clueless, thank you for empathizing with sash. he does need a lot of empathy...

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

Sash... thanks for dropping in buddy. you've made me a very popular person :)

Kriti said...

ROFLMAO!!!

Cracked me up BIGGGG time!!!

I LOVED mine!!!

And the one for Sash... Super!!

"I know I'll do it with a dame!"

hahahahahaha


You're no less when it comes to writing limericks..

Wow.. we've got poets all around..!

And the one for your boss.. lol.. fantasies unravelling, eh?

Friends are much more fun when they’re sharedTrue and agreed!!
Much thanks to Aniket (hope you are reading Aniket)for finding me. It was only through him that I found you guys!!
:-)

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

Aniket- HAH!! YOU WISH!
(which of jen's limericks did you like?)
and the only thing i know in gujju is suu che saru che :)

Aniket Thakkar said...

On re-read I kinda like the one for you boss quite a bit too. :-)

And see see... you are spiling young kids... writing things about Sash (on Kriti's comment :-D)

And both of 'em.. :)

Deepa Gopal said...

OMG, L'girl....Extraordianry!!!
Brilliant!!!
Superb!!!
Superlative...
There's no end to it!!!

The first thing I did on seeing 'LIMERICK' is look for my name in it...When I found, I was at peace & ease, went bac & started reading.

Cannot say one was better than the other...each one was excellent:)[OMG! it's so nice...](getting excited)

(gaining composure)Hmmm...I can see the eternal banter betw you & Aniket is becoming famous...but that was so sweet of you(& aniket for challenging & taking it in it's spirit)

Jenny's & Sash's my jaw dropped...you are one gutsy girl:)

Yours was very sweet(revenge thru fantasy).

And Mine....APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE!
hmmuhh...first time..anyone has...written limerick on me!!! yeeyyyyy!(happy tears)

Ans, Shantanu...you surprised me with your lines, too good. I think, Next limerick will be in your blog.
And too bad you didn't say how you felt abt the limerick for me..(angry)

Seriously dear(l'girl), you are a fast learner & you excel in all tht you do.

I love Limericks!

BTW, you look cool. Your eyes are very expressive & the nose ring looks cute on you.

Amritorupa Kanjilal said...

Kritter- let me tell you, the friend sharing thing did not come through effortlessly. aniket put up a good fight. he guarded his friends like a goose guards its eggs.
happy to say he failed miserably.

Aniket Thakkar said...

PPS:

Jusht an honest suggeshchun....

You must change your template... it doesn't do justice to your writing.

Keep one where the writing comes out clearly... :-)

Kriti said...

@ Shantanu...

You bet!!

Lol.. thank you..
loved yours too..

After being the poet myself, it feels so good to be a subject finally!!!

Deepa Gopal said...

I had a hearty laugh so much so tht tears weren't stopping for sometime...& my jaws are aching(not from the dropping, though!)

Thanks for the Laugh!

Kriti said...

I've been trying to post a ccomment for 15 mins. now.. and everytime it says- "Blogger is currently unavailable"

ARGHH!!!

Kriti said...

Ailelo...

Wen i deleted that entire thing i typed the crap above to ye kaam kar gaya!!

Hate it!


Anwyays.. Aniket put up a good fight, eh?

@ Aniket

Tsk tsk Aniket.. bad manners!
Learn to share.. Sharing's good (not everything though!!)

And me and 'young kids' in the same sentence (it still counts as a sentence.. even though I'm in parenthesis)

Uhh..
Err..
Erm..
WHATT?!?!?!

buno mainak said...

a-ha-ha
yo ho ho
and a bottle of rum

chhondo choritrer ponchobyanjon

mother in law,aniket and sash are fantabulous.mil is best of d lot,indeed.
and that footnote is surely from d house of gucci.superb.patent leather.skin.

and me?neither a doc,nor a poet.it must b allegorical.
@anik,i feel sorry for u.hope nothing shrinks..:P
@sash,sacrifice sumthng for stalkers and be worshipped by fil critics and bloggers.:P

@lgl,loker pode kathi kora ta chalie jao boss....:).ami cheerleader hochhi.

buno mainak said...

@santanu das
i really admire your diligence,sir.really i envy you.ur relentless effort to make a xx chromosomal human an all-good-no-bad super women is really apreciable,indeed.
and your limericks and haikus,ohhhhhh just mindblowin.that's d differnce between laymans like us,and poets.when i gulm old monk,i think bout' slangs and fornication,and uthink bout' eyes.spectacular ....
keep it sir,u be submrged in eyes,rest is taken care of by stupiids like us....:)

coffeeismypoison said...

OMG! 3 Words ; You Are B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T! PLS write more such stuff!! Perhaps start every post with a limerick!!!

SUBHADIP said...

Amritorupa..so brilliant and so witty just liked it great..amake niye ki limerick banano jai? Anyway you are damn good and innovative in idears..

Karen said...

LGL - This comment is about your poem on Cat's video. It is so heartbreaking and perfectly rendered. It really moves me.

Jennifer said...

LGL, I am not just smiling, I am laughing so much! My MIL is going to wonder what is going on. :)

Thank you for a perfect start to another crazy day.

And Karen is absolutely right about your poem at Cat's. Achingly beautiful. From one writer's writer to another, girl! ;)

And P.S. can Aniket have more than one mortal enemy??? :)

Catherine Vibert said...

LGL-LAUGH OUT LOUD! Wonderful writing. I love being one of you 'weird people'.

Sakshi said...
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Sakshi said...

Loved all of them (except the bong one coz am no bong gal and didn't understand it...am way down from south of India) and am still ROFling thinking about some of the gutsy limericks...

Atanu said...

U WROTE well.. beautiful and it was a fun... but usually I don't read limericks... actually it will be true to say... I don't read anything at all...!!!! Its confirm that u wrote very well.. the expressions and reactions of limericks lovers prove it easily...

Quaint Murmur said...

hhahahhahahah....those were amazing!!! i was sitting reading them with a wide stupid grin on my face...excellent stuff, really.

Anil Sawan said...

i am still searching for my name
among nine good friends u gifted fame
guess what, i am not there!
amrita, its not fair.
now smile, cos i loved the game :)

ShantanuDas said...
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Abhinandan said...

On a bright,sunny n rainy day,
A bangali met a punjaban ON THE WAY!!!
Too much contradiction, just like the weather
They decided..."Lets meet some time better"!!!
After a long eventful wait...
In a DARK KNIGHT both of them met!!!
Without waste the bangali n punjaban...
Decided to have a NISHIJAAPON!!!
In the morning, when the SLEEP-GLUE was off their eyes....
What did they see???
What did they see???
JETHU n JETHIMA having FISH FRIES!!!

joaquin carvel said...

“little girl” was so subtle and sweet
on cat’s vid, that I wanted to meet
the author with such
a sensitive touch -
then I laughed my ass out of my seat.

("little girl" is beautiful - these are hilarious - i'm coming back.)

ShantanuDas said...
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ShantanuDas said...
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ShantanuDas said...
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The Sunflower Collective said...

hilarious for sure.!

The Sunflower Collective said...

Speaks a lot about multiple and versatile directions of observation you have

Al Walling said...

erm, yea.. i did doodle my masthead picture ^_^

Al Walling said...

erm.. yea.. i doodled my masthead pic. ^_^

Gagan said...

Wohoa!!

All were way too nicely composed.
Now Aniket should better think twice next time he throws a challenge to you :).

Loved Sash's and yours the most:D

Aniket's one made me go a little senti. towards the end :P

Anonymous said...

Hey That was interesting!
Cool composition.You have got a gift:)

Razzer said...

My Blog is a treat u say ??? Lol.... Well..I must be doing something right then. :-)

So is yours..most definately.

Wish U hadn't revealed all the limericks on one single post. A little trickle here..a little there..and some - a lil lateh..wud hv done wonders.But I loved them indeed.

I found meself a talented un. Well, wot do u knw? Hehe..

;-)

Deepa Gopal said...

I have taken note of what you said..& have done what is necessary. Thanks for the warning dear:) You take good care.

Anonymous said...

Anurag was surrounded by women.

The sole male in a feminine domain.

Amidst the cackling noise

In a guttaral voice,

He growled, ”But MY manhood is proven.”

Aw man they made me laugh :P

suvi said...

LGL, thanks for visiting my blog :)

Love it here. We lived a couple of years in calcutta, I was delighted beyond words to read your post on sandakphu - which was my first trek ever.

Will keep popping in here regularly!

Sakshi said...
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Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Very cute! And I think limericks are great!

Amit Kumar Das said...

some r very hilarious, while some i didnt find that much amusing, .... but i should say u have a very good eyes for details and u write on a lot of diverse subjects..... keep walking!!!

Shaan Menon said...

hi.. thanks for the comment.. soon i will be posting something..>!!!! anyways.. for you i have a post recent on my other blog nirvana4me

Raaga said...

They're lovely. Can relate to the MIL-lizard one totally!

Toon Indian said...

know only one limerick which my dad just to tell..my dear, deer is very dear!!.....nice ones you have here.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Nothing as such amritorupa....
A little tied up with things.... i will get back to you soon..:)
As for as this limericks are concerned..i have very littel idea about them...
They seemed very rhyming and a little smart ones...
Just let me know, will rop my feelings then...

TC..

Deepa Gopal said...

Hi dear

I saw your take on 'Pay It Forward'. I did hope you would answer soon. Now to make it work, you've to post it in your Blog with the text thts there in mine(ie with rules & stuff) & then link it to mine(ie from where you got it). Otherwise it's will go void(hope you went thru the rules). Hope to see it in your blog soon:) Hope you have fun with this!
I am pretty excited. But feeling low as none of the others have come forward to play:(

Good Day!

lafemmereva said...

little girl!!! this post was awesome!!!

the-sagittarian-blogger said...

Hey LGL!

Loved all the limerics... Sash's was theeeee bestest, must say...!!!

Gr8 observation :)

Sweety.

Stupidosaur said...

Damn you're good!

Or should it be

Dame you're good!

Or

Stupidosaur came bumbling by
Bloghopping mindlessly, on the fly.
The things Little Girl cooked,
Really had him hooked!
Left promising, soon to drop by...

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

hehehehe darun likhecho :D

loved d last one a lot. :)

Ketan said...

Good, particularly, one on sash. You've heard of 55ers? You could find some on my blog. TC.

Ashika said...

Excellent!! You're very talented! Keep up the good work!

Abhishek Mukherjee said...

Kanjilal was a woman of whims,
The kind they used to make in dreams,
She cares for her tea
Her smile is hearty
And here she's come up with a stash of lims.