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Friday, January 30, 2009

Everybody Loves a Good Eve-teaser

Yesterday I bashed up a guy in the bus. I slapped him twice, out-shouted him, and made him get down from the bus. This is the second time in two weeks this has happened.

I no longer expect appreciation for this. My parents and my boyfriend have made it very clear that they want me to desist from such dangerous behavior. Their lack of support apparently stems from their concern about my safety. Ma is going on about acid-throwers. Anik seems to be worried about a situation in which the eve-teaser actually hits me back.

Needless to say, I did not take their admonitions in a very accepting frame of mind. But in retrospect, I do appreciate what they are trying to say.

Jaipur is, to put it mildly, not a good place for women. Unlike the evilly reputed Delhi, where a guy can heckle you in public but you can heckle him right back and expect public support, or the more excitable Kolkata, where Anik tell me a girl has to raise her voice carefully because if she does, the janta will bash the eve-teaser to within an inch of his life, in Jaipur women stay down. If you raise your voice against an eve-teaser, there is a good chance that members of the public will support him and not you. You will hear comments like This girl has no modesty or what is a girl from a good family doing outside her home anyway? And of course, the eve-teaser not only gets away with it but can fearlessly hit you back or call you a slut or whatever. And there is of course the worry that he might mark you down and get back at you later, on the streets.

This disrespect for women, while it has some notable exceptions, is quiet an ubiquitous mentality in Jaipur. You will find it among the labour class, shop-keepers, and high-profile executives( eg- monster boss). I have a feeling it is older than centuries, and is too deeply set to really do anything about. My apologies to my Rajasthani readers, but this is from someone, who is doing Jaipur's underbelly everyday and knows what she is talking about.

Just the other day, I was reading about Chief Minister Gehlot's rant on the pub culture and public display of affection which are against Rajasthani culture. Mr. Gehlot, sir, why don't you do your state a favour, and instead of spouting political inanities, do something about the very real problem of eve-teasing in the city? Unless, of course, you feel that it is totally in accordance to Rajasthani culture.

7 paper boats came floating back to me:

abhinandan said...

Way to go....
Tui chaap na niye lok thengiye jaa...
Keu kichhu bolle/korle amaar naam bole dibi...
Amaar Jaipur-e bishaal chena shona...
Puro Camel Army naamiye debo...
Aar Anik-ke niye chaap nibi na...
O ekbaar Barrackpore-e ekta cycle chaalok-ke hool(read in hindi)dite giye emon chhoriyechhilo je okhaan theke shobaaike mathaye kaalo polthyene chaapiye firte hoyechhilo!!!

buno mainak said...

hmmmmmmmm.chintar bisoy.tui borong ekta machine kine ne.desi machine chaile bolis.mungeri mal die debo.chalate hobe na.dekhalei becharar diabetes hye jbe.

buno mainak said...

r gehlot kutta ta k nyaje saucepan bedhe ghorano uchit

Little Girl Lost said...

@ hasi & bokom
toder support er jonyo oshonkhyo dhonyobaad. oi jonyo i boli, prem r attiota theke dosti oneeek mohaan. :)

laddu said...

what is ironical here is that i would have asked my gf not 2 act like dis but at d same time want other gls 2 hit dem n hit dem hard....hard 2 accept but true....

chaat paapdi said...

what i will comment on is this one : ). a friend S was whistled at by a guy in chembur market (bombay). She walked on a few steps with other friend H, turned around, walked back up to him and slapped him hard. kudos to both of you. i wonder if i'll ever muster enough courage to slap a creep. did publicly humiliate a guy and make him get off a bus though : ). the publicness of it is always effective. bravo!

ShantanuDas said...

U r from kolkata u wrote on ur profile..but here it seems u have not stayed there (since u had to hear abt kol 4m friend)? ?? hmm i m curious.. but otherwise how can we forget that even at Kol nobody raised a hand when that Sergeant died rbr?? .. forget it man!! all cities are becoming selfish.. even kolkata.. very rarely people come forward (pls excuse me my kolkata friends..) All cities are same.. only degree of these vary.. eg chennai will be the least I bet because of two reasons yeah yeah.. I am not saying it.. do not mistake me.. but it is a fact..yeah i mean the dress part- here the girls still are way behind in dresses compared to north .. and so provoke less (hey !! pls do not misunderstand me.. I am neither justifying this nor saying women shld not have a right to choose dress.. Ok? just saying facts that this provocation element is not there here and the 2nd reason is that here ppl are still god fearing.. -my offfice has gods on all floors.. people will tell me to visit temples.. if i ask where can i go to enjoy and outing?? Oopps.. so you get me now?

North India is the worst.. from my college days I have seen they pride themselves in being lady killers.. I have a colleague.. who was a dud and has a dud son.. but from Haryana.. so he was tall and strapping.. dad was very proud.. he used to tell me 'I have put him into a gym.. the joint has gals too.. let him make his body and pick up some gals!!" Ohh How I hated him.. sala.. bastard.. these are the dads.. who take pride in his son when he can test his manhood on gals.. ohh yeah they are just for picking by dud studs! That is the attitude.. And so this continues..

but really I thot Jaiour and Rajasthan was a better place bcs ppl are better there..

Or hmm maybe okay.. Jaipur being exposed to too much outsiders have also caught the outside fever!

But hey how hard is your slap??